Tag Archives: Bedtime

Bed Time Banter

The other day, I got annoyed by Spawn #1. It happens often (a little too often for my liking) but this day saw a repeat of the previous day’s issue that tried my patience. I wonder if the Little Darling is simply pushing my buttons, prolonging the inevitability of bedtime, or just has genuine bad timing. I guess that’s for you to decide… Let me explain:

#1’s nighttime routine is pretty straightforward: Dinner, bath, pyjamas, stories & milk, teeth, songs and sleepies. It has been this way for as long as I can remember.

Spawn #1, however, has started adding his own step in. Somewhere between the end if his stories and the start of sleepy time, he now feels the need to demand to sit on the toilet for Poo Time.

Let me be clear about this. My son demands to sit on the bog and have a crap. Invariably, when I take him to the toilet and sit him down, has just plays with his environment, unravels the toilet roll, aims his winky over the edge of his seat while weeing, and exclaiming loudly about there being a bus in the loo! And all this while doing ABSOLUTELY NO POO!!!!!

In the words of a famous TV and movie director, “Grrrrr. Argh”.

But he becomes a very sweet and funny child while on the crapper. If I get close enough, he will pull me in for hugs and kisses, he’ll mess up my hair and whisper to me about all the strange things that have happened to him that day. And we giggle. A lot!

I know that this is just procrastination on Spawn #1’s part as only last month he would constantly claim to be hungry during bedtime. Before that, it was “one more” “one more” “one more” with stories and songs.

In all honesty he is starting to get a bit better than he has been, but gone are the days when I could just stand in his doorway and say “lie down, good boy, night night” and we wouldn’t hear a peep from him until morning. It used to be so easy getting Cherub #1 to sleep, but not so much now!

Yesterday, he told me he’d done a wee in his nappy, so I explained that was ok as that’s what they were designed for. But my Darling Boy decides he wants his nappy changed NOW!

Me: But you’ve only been in that nappy 5 minutes…
#1: No. Change now. Wee in nappy.
Me: Can it wait?
#1: No Daddy.
Me: Will you drown if I don’t change it?
#1: Err… yeah.
Me: Ok, you win.
#1: Sing Daddy’s song.
Me: Dont push it!

I suppose it’s good that he’s learning to ask for a change, potty training himself almost, but I do wish he would just go to sleep like he used to!

Sleep-Talking – Psychological Insight, or Just Sheer Entertainment?

Maternity leave fast became a distant memory as Darling Wife returned to work two weeks ago, and I have been at home wrestling with my demons in the more literal sense.  With this sudden change in family dynamic, I wondered (dreaded?) if there would be any apparent effect on the kids…

I should not have been worried.  The answer, of course, is OF COURSE!  May as well just throw in a face-palm for good measure…

Bedtime has become something of a minefield, more so than usual.  Now that Darling Wife is at work for most of the day, the kids only really see her in the evenings and at weekends – It’s a bit like a Talk Plan from your selected mobile phone company, except with a bit less stress and a good deal more unintentional international calls (always made when one of your cherubs grabs your mobile phone).  With the children in my care for most of the day, when ‘Mummy’ comes home, she becomes something of a novelty.  If she happens to come into #1’s bedroom to say ‘Night night’, he starts to play up and won’t settle for anything less than ‘Mummymummymummymummy’…

During the nights, #2 has been waking up to 5 times a night, just for a little mummy-comfort.  Not exactly the best sleep solution for a woman who suffered with bouts of insomnia during pregnancy and has a job that can be both physically and emotionally exhausting.  Darling Wife does the best she can, and I help wherever and however I can, but she still ends up exhausted and running on empty.

However, one interesting side effect that has presented itself recently has been the increase in #1’s sleep-talking.  He frequently made noises during the night, and occasionally awoke and called out for me, but he rarely spoke in his sleep.  Certainly, the possibility of proper sleep-talking is increasing as his speech develops quicker and quicker, but last night was the first time that I understood exactly what was going on in his head.

The encounter went something like this:

03:00am – I hear a voice begin repeating a strange noise every few seconds, increasing in volume and frequency, and prompting me to get out of bed to investigate and subdue.

Upon entering #1’s bedroom, the floor creaked, and I’m not talking your subtle whispery creak.  Oh no, ladies and gentlemen.  I’m talking Haunted House of Horrors creaking of the sort usually reserved for waking even the most stubbornly dead!  But #1 didn’t even stir.  He just lay there, eyes closed, muttering in some strange language.

As I drew closer, I realised that he was in fact still asleep, and suddenly I could make out what he was saying.

#1: ‘Tair’

Me: ‘What’s the matter?’

#1: ”Tair’

Me: What’s that?

#1: ‘Ooh, tair.  High tair.

Me: ‘HIgh chair?’

#1: ‘Yeah.  High tair.  Fall.’

Me: ‘You fell out of your high chair?’

#1: ‘Yeah’.

Me: ‘Are you dreaming?’

#1: ‘Yeah’

I laugh and he smiles in his sleep.

Me: ‘Then roll over and go back to sleep’.

#1: ‘Yeth’.

He rolls over and cuddles into the duvet.

#1:  ‘Bye Bye, Daddy’.

[Heart melts].

I am trying to decide whether the things that children say in their sleep hold any indications as to their state of mind, or whether I should just assume insignificance and start recording these conversations for future entertainment value…

Answers on a postcard…